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Gone Fishing.
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I believe in capitalism. As a staunch republican and anti
communist/socialist it is my belief that this is the best system for the
growth and development of the world at large. People get what they want,
when they want it. And those who continually develop, create, innovate
and work hard are rewarded with the benefits of that work.
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You get what
you pay for and you are paid for what you do. I do not believe in the
free ride.
However, this system encourages change. And with change comes the good
and the bad. Corporations tend to grow as they mature and sometimes their
roots reach the limits of their potential. Sometimes, in order to
continue their growth they must cut off some of their limbs. Some refer
to this as "cutting the fat" while others see them as "focusing their
strategies." This tends to be the "bad." Because, when companies
integrate change it effects the organization and the people involved with
it. Whether they are spinning off a branch to open new doors or closing a
factory to save the bulk of the company - change impacts individual's
lives. But, bad as it can be, it's a necessary component for the gears of
the great machine of progress, innovation and capitalism. (Sorry about
the mixed metaphors.)
So, I've been downsized. I'm a statistic. I'm part of the great IT
empire that has fallen. I've been thanked for my service, my skills, my
devotion and then shown the door. It was truly remarkable and something I
will probably remember for the rest of life. A room full of friends an
co-workers being told, "Everyone's position in this room... has been
eliminated." The silence was deafening. My eyes large as tomatoes.
And in true modern day society fashion, it was followed by a group hug.
Not actually, but metaphorically. We had a group therapy session to
discuss our feelings after we "heard the news" and it was a place to vent
our frustrations. At first my reaction to this was glib - as I always am
- and then I realized it was really kind of nice. It got us together and
showed us we weren't alone. And despite the fact that the meeting was
organized to find out who, if any of us were going to go postal - it was a
touching way of communicating with everyone. I nicknamed us the "Lay-Off
Club."
But the thing that really got me in all of this was a simple question.
"What was your first reaction to hearing the news." Ittook me a while to
figure it out, but what I remember now was this. Louie Anderson's words
in Coming To America. Louie's consoling Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall
about their poor jobs and overall lot if life and he said, "I used to be
scrubbing floors, just like you guys. But right now, I'm washing lettuce.
In a year or two I might make assistant manager... and that's when the big
bucks come in." I almost laughed out loud. I'm really glad I didn't.
And that's what it really boils down to. Am I scrubbing floors, or am I
washing lettuce? More than that, am I keeping a good attitude? Louie was
ecstatic to be washing lettuce. He was moving up. He had his goals in
sight. He had a plan. So
I've decided to be Louie.
Now, granted, I have it a little easier than some others who find this
misfortune. I am a single guy without any real strings. I don't have to
worry about feeding a family and keeping a mortgage. When Visa comes to
take my stuff - "I" can laugh, because Best Buy already came and took that
stuff back. The DVD player isn't even mine and the Saab's way over in
mileage anyway. This is one of the few times being a single guy can really
pay off. Thanks to all those girls who wouldn't date me. You know who
you are and I take back all the comments I muttered, cursed and wrote on
the bathroom walls.
I also have to thank my friends and family. The support has been
overwhelming. My appreciation is more than you will know. You guys are
the Daddy Mac fo' watchin my back. If any o' dis wack ass shit be happin'
to y'all you be knowin dat I be der' wit a nine to to cap the ass of any
fool dat sho' no respect. Word is bond, yo.
I also want to thank M&I for supporting capitalism and having such a phat
severance package. I know I have taken your name in vain many late nights
at the office - and made many jokes at your disposal - but you know I'll
be thinking otherwise when that big ol' check comes in the mail. Mo'
money! Mo' Money!
I also want to send a special thanks in advance to TurboTax and the
Federal Govt. for processing my return so quickly. It's through the
kindness of your very heart that you give my money back to me. I better
move on before I well up in tears....
And that's about it. A lot of you have been asking how I've been. I'm
just fine. I have my health, loving family and friends, and a brand new
set of waders dying to be tried out. Am I disappointed at my job loss?
A little. The job overall was kind of cool. But I understand the rules
of change. I understand the upsides and downsides of capitalism and the
effects of its system. I understand that my bosses aren't monsters,
despite the fact it makes for a better cartoon. I understand that
sometimes bad things happen to good people. I understand that things
happen for a reason and that we have to accept that - and make the better
of it. We all, no matter what the situation, have to remember to and keep
on, smiling. So, next week I'm going fishing. But right now, I'm washing
lettuce.
* Look for Mr. Sweeney's article "Meal Worm, the other white meat." later
this week.
**The opinions expressed in Weekly Commentary are those of Mr. Sweeney and his alone. Any attempt at finding sanity or logic in his rantings are feeble, at best.
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